I recently read an article about friendships and what to do if a friend disappoints you. It was very interesting and got me thinking about friends. Some people have a lot of them and some people have just a few. Whether you keep them close to your heart or at arm’s length, they are part of the very fabric of our lives. Most of us have friends that we keep in our “inner circle.” These are the ones that we share our deepest fears, happiest moments and everything in between. Then on the next outer circles we have our other friends who are not quite in the inner circle but are valuable to us.
What if you’ve had a friend for a long time in your inner circle and suddenly they do something that disappoints you and you are ready to sever the relationship. (In this scenario, I am not talking about sleeping with your husband or finding out they are a serial killer. In these scenarios, you have no choice; dump the b____.) Instead of cutting ties to this friend entirely, could you simply shift them to a different circle? You have invested laughs and tears and it would be a shame to simply let it all go to waste. Maybe you simply decrease the frequency of your get togethers or keep the relationship a little distanced. This friend is not forever banned to the outer circle of friendship, and could earn their way back in. But realize, they don’t have to. You can adjust your new friendship level and be perfectly fine with the outcome.
At my age, 46, it is difficult and time consuming to make new friends and keep old ones. When I was younger, I expected a lot out of people. If they didn’t deliver, I was done with them. Now I try to embrace the good qualities in everyone and realize that people are unique and different and that is what I like about them. They may not do something that I like, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t like them. It just means, I’ve put them in a different circle for now.