I’m driving down the road and I see a plethora of reading material that is quite distracting. No, its not the billboards on the side of the road, it’s the bumper stickers right in front of me. Why do people feel like this is the most important place to put reading material for other people? I do not care that you voted for Ralph Nader back in 2000, your child is a superstar at his or her school or you love zombies.
I especially don’t like to drive and do math. This is extremely distracting to me. I’m talking about the people who put memorials of loved ones on their back window. I’m forced to read it and start figuring out how old that person was when they died. Oh crap, they were 18. Now I feel bad. Why did I need to know that, and an even bigger question, why did you want everyone else to know that. We did not know that person and if we did, we went to their service or memorial. I’m pretty sure they did not want their “mobile headstone” traversing all over the roadways.
The other stickers I do not like are the running bumper stickers that people have such as the 26.1, and 13.1, etc. I get it; you are a runner and you want everyone to know. If that is where we are going, I’m thinking of putting a wine glass on my car.
The other day I saw a minivan with the little stick figure people on the back. There were 2 adults and 3 children but one of the children in the middle was removed. It did not look like it had fallen off, but was deliberately taken off. This made me wonder…. Did the child get kicked out of the house? Did the child die? Did the child change genders and need an update on their stick figure? My mind went in many different directions trying to figure this out but I will never know what happened to the stick figure child and the real child. What I do know is that I spent an enormous amount of time pondering this and all I really wanted to do was drive to Target.
The political bumper stickers always get me. These people must be the same people that always bring up politics at dinner parties. I really don’t want to know that you are a Republican, you love Obamacare, or you are against abortion. I was doing just fine not knowing this information. It is like commercials that follow you.
“I’m sorry officer, but I ran into the minivan because they had 5 bumper stickers on their vehicle and I got to the last one about Their children have 4 paws, when I smashed into the back of them. There might have been another one but I will never know. I can’t see it anymore. No problem maa’m. I’m citing the minivan for obstruction of driving with verbage. “ I strongly believe you should get a free pass for a rear end collision if a person has bumper stickers. Clearly, they wanted us reading the stuff, didn’t they?!
If we are to continue to keep up with the bumper sticker craze, let’s have everyone have a bumper sticker with their IQ on it. Then when the person in front of you leaves his blinker on for 5 miles or hangs a left from the right lane, you can simple glance at his number and know why.