The T-Shirt Conspiracy

This blog is going to be falling under the “Random Stuff” category due to the unimportant nature of the information I am about to impart.

After struggling for a year or so with what I thought was a moth problem or a crappy washer/dryer, I have now found evidence that I have neither. Well, maybe the washer dryer is still crappy, but it is not the source of my frustration. What I do have, is t-shirts that end up with little tiny holes in them that occur around waist level. In the beginning I believed it to be my own fault. I must have gotten the shirt stuck on something or perhaps fallen into a briar patch. Then I did a little internet research and found that it could be my kitchen countertop edges. If they are a bit rough AND you bend your knees in an athletic stance AND you rub your belly back and forth against the granite, it might cause the small holes. The last time I did that was….. never. I continued to buy new t-shirts and was extremely frustrated when I put on a t-shirt and there was a hole in it. And for your Public Service Announcement of the day…the J Crew t-shirt called “The Perfect Tee” is not. Actually, it is the worst.


Still trying to figure out what the hell is happening, I did another google search. This time I found out that there are a lot of people out there just like me. People walking around town who suddenly look down and realize that the t-shirt they are wearing has several tiny holes in it which they did not see when they put it on. I am not the only one.

THE PROBLEM IS OUR JEANS! Yes, those jeans that we spend hundreds of dollars on to make us look good and feel comfortable are now sabotaging the upper half of our body. Apparently the friction of the hardware of your jeans, such as the button and rivets, and also the jean material around the button are causing the cotton of your shirts to tear.

The mystery is solved and now I must figure out what to do about it. I’m not giving up my jeans so I need to either:

1.Find higher quality cotton t-shirts OR

2.Embrace the “front tuck.” (If you are wondering what the “front tuck” is, you simply tuck in a small portion of your tshirt into your jeans in the front. This keeps the tshirt from falling over your button.)   (I think I did this back in middle school.) OR

3.Wear crop tops.

Just as a side note, NONE of my husband’s t-shirt have ever had these little holes. And I’m fairly certain he doesn’t spend more than $20 for his t-shirts. I’m smelling a conspiracy in the women’s fashion industry.  I picture a bunch of high level executive women, sitting on some Fashion Industry Board, drinking margarita’s and laughing at all of us dumb bitches who keep buying t-shirts.

4 thoughts on “The T-Shirt Conspiracy

  1. This made me laugh out loud. I have noticed the same thing and was convinced there must be moths in my tshirt drawer! I keep looking but have never found any evidence. I’ll look into the jeans theory. Whew, glad it’s not moths!


  2. Apologies for the self-promotion, but I’m going to chime in. I noticed the holes after I had my first daughter. I was staying at home more and living in jeans and tshirts. Note that we also have granite countertops and I am that exact height where the tshirt/button/countertop all fall in the right place. I started noticing the holes and it drove me crazy. Why was it happening in that same spot, under my belly button and to ALL my tshirts! Cheap or expensive, it didn’t matter. That’s when I went and took out all my t’s from my closet and they were all riddled with holes and they were in the same spot. I did an experiment and I bought a bunch of new t’s and kept a diary. What I found is that it is hardware on your jeans (button, zip, rivets or a belt) I found it was mostly my jeans button. And the main cause was leaning into my countertop. But could have been carrying around my toddler, my seatbelt- anything that was rubbing on top of the tshirts and then on the jeans button. I tried an apron, masking tape and tucking in my top. It helped, but then I got some samples made of silicone (unabrasive material) to fit over the jeans button and it worked and continues to work. There’s more info on my website so have a look. Sorry for the shameless promotion on Holé but I had to! Lauren


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